I May Be Training for Something

It sounds like the Ragged Mountain Stage Race is still on. There are less that 50 people registered so it just might happen; from what the race director stated in an email last week. 

This week the plan is to spend a lot of time on the trails and get in some vertical training. I want to drive up to run/hike Ragged after work this week. I may also do a few loops at Kearsarge. 

This past week was pretty good training-wise. While I didn’t get my running miles in I swam and biked a lot. I’m starting to feel more and more like a triathlete again. 

Saturday was an early morning hike and then meeting Adam for lunch. We watched the BLM protest come into the downtown area and into the New Hampshire State House. We listened to the speakers and then we headed to the river for a swim. So, I kind of biked and swam. 

Riding on the Londonderry Trail Trail

Sunday was a long ride through Manchester and Londonderry with Jeff. He wanted to show me the new paved trail in Londonderry: The Londonderry Rail Trail. It was awesome to say the least. We rode by Lake Massabesic and through neighborhoods in Manchester. It was a solid 30 miles on a new course. We will do that again!

Courtesy of https://londonderrytrails.org/about-the-rail-trail/

Today is work, training and finishing the 13th documentary on Netflix. I will learn, understand and do everything I can to support BLM – to help make the world a better place for all humans.

From 13th: “We have in this country people pleading guilty to crimes they didn’t commit just because the thought of going to jail for what the mandatory minimums are is so excruciating.” – Cory Booker

To Strive, To Seek, To Find and Not To Yield

As I was browsing I Run Far’s website I saw a few articles I wanted to read with titles such as Hope, My Own Running Dog and I Miss You.

As I read a few lines from all of them for some reason I got the poem by Alfred Lord Tennyson in my head. 

I actually remember the lines from the movie One Week when Josh Jackson gave me a tour of grief and the Canadian landscape, and an AWESOME soundtrack by the way. 

So I reflect on my life with those bold words: To Strive, To Seek, To Find and Not To Yield.

You see, I was body-healthy throughout February and March and didn’t train; my head wasn’t in the right place. 

Then April came and I was ready in the head then I sprained my ankle, now I’m body-unhealthy. 

I can’t win. 

I’m making the best of it with walking and biking as much as I can. I’ve been eating too much and gained my 15 pandemic-pounds but I’m ready to get back at it. I’m ready. I have another week of body-healing and then – boom – I’m back on my 100 mile training plan. I think the crazy Goldie-dog is going to be a good running partner on the trails.

There is so much to be hopeful about. I’m ready to be hopeful and happy.  

Although, maybe it’s not in our hopes but in the struggle that we find a life. In Tennyson’s poem, Ulysses when read in its full force makes me think that maybe it is time for a new adventure.

One of my favorite songs from the One Week Soundtrack

“A Human Touch” (from “5B” soundtrack) 

“A Human Touch” (from the “5B” soundtrack). About the song and collaboration from Billboard magazine. Although this song is from the documentary 5B about San Francisco General Hospital’s AIDS ward during the early ’80s I feel like it’s so appropriate today. It’s been one of my favorite songs since the beginning of the year.

“You can call it a decision. I say it’s how we’re made. There’s no point in shouting from your island proclaiming only Jesus saves. There will always be suffering and there will always be pain but because of it there’ll always be love and love, we know, it will remain.

Everybody gets lonely. Feel like it’s all too much. Reaching out for some connections. Or maybe just their own reflection. Not everybody finds it, not like the two of us. Sometimes all anybody needs is a human touch.

Everybody wants a holiday, everybody wants to feel the sun. Get outside and run around, live like they’re forever young. Everybody wants to be beautiful and live life their own way. No one ever wants to let it go, no matter what they do or say.”

Pandemic Plan for Self Isolation, Write A Book

Amid the crisis and hunkering down, I decided that I will start writing my second book. I’ve been procrastinating writing it. I’ve started a million times, with twenty different titles and topics. Fiction or Nonfiction. I have had so many starts and stops. I have so many half completed essays and chapters. 

For over 20 years I’ve been journaling and I write almost every day. I’ve been starting to notice a pattern in what I write about in my journal and morning pages. There are two recurring themes: fixing mistakes and second chances

These themes are the working title, too. 

Chapters include: Dogs, Work, Men, Plans, Endurance Training, Friends, Travel and most importantly and most likely the most cathartic to write: Family. 

One thing that will be woven through all these chapters is the idea that we are all so scared. We (and I mean me) are scared to accept new responsibilities, to get our hearts broken (again), that we will lose our job, that a plan falls through that you had your heart set on, that you aren’t good enough or strong enough to finish a big race. And when it comes to family, people you know so well, well, they are more scared than you are. I thought my family had it all together. They are all just as scared as everyone else.

Families are hard, hard, hard. Anne Lamott

I have so much material to make people laugh, cry, shake their heads in agreement – and mostly just to remember the good things in life we sometimes forget about. 

See – the thing is – I screw up. A lot. I’m impulsive. I’m impatient. I worry. I’m worst-case-scenario girl. But despite all the screws ups, I also try to fix them. I’m not afraid to say sorry. Sometimes I get second chances. Second chances are the BEST! These are the stories I want to tell.

And so it begins …..

The World is Going Crazy

The economy is plummeting and we are afraid. Afraid of losing our jobs, our homes, our family and more. 

I’m trying not to panic. I’m trying to stay calm. 

I just adopted a dog. I’m only thinking of her, Winnie, my job, my parents, and lastly – training. 

Anne Lamott, my favorite, favorite writer and muse, writes on Facebook today, a repurposed post

“So where do we find grace and light? If you mean right now, try some radical self-care: friendly self-talk, a cup of tea.”

“So how do we shelter in place in the midst of fear and fear? We stick together in our anxiety and cluelessness. We reach out for any help at all; we share any truth and encouragement and humor we come upon. We feed the poor and send money to people who are helping save children around the world. These are good responses. I am going to recommend that we do that today, and tomorrow.”

“Tom Weston taught me decades ago that in the face of human tragedy, we go around the neighborhood and pick up litter, even though there will be more tomorrow. It is another blessed sacraments.”

Today, I will walk to the park across the street and pick up poop. All the poop that appeared when the snow melted. Thanks Anne.

I’m going to work hard. 

I’m going to run.

And I’m going to call my mom.

Hugging your dog helps too.