“A Human Touch” (from “5B” soundtrack) 

“A Human Touch” (from the “5B” soundtrack). About the song and collaboration from Billboard magazine. Although this song is from the documentary 5B about San Francisco General Hospital’s AIDS ward during the early ’80s I feel like it’s so appropriate today. It’s been one of my favorite songs since the beginning of the year.

“You can call it a decision. I say it’s how we’re made. There’s no point in shouting from your island proclaiming only Jesus saves. There will always be suffering and there will always be pain but because of it there’ll always be love and love, we know, it will remain.

Everybody gets lonely. Feel like it’s all too much. Reaching out for some connections. Or maybe just their own reflection. Not everybody finds it, not like the two of us. Sometimes all anybody needs is a human touch.

Everybody wants a holiday, everybody wants to feel the sun. Get outside and run around, live like they’re forever young. Everybody wants to be beautiful and live life their own way. No one ever wants to let it go, no matter what they do or say.”

Pandemic Plan for Self Isolation, Write A Book

Amid the crisis and hunkering down, I decided that I will start writing my second book. I’ve been procrastinating writing it. I’ve started a million times, with twenty different titles and topics. Fiction or Nonfiction. I have had so many starts and stops. I have so many half completed essays and chapters. 

For over 20 years I’ve been journaling and I write almost every day. I’ve been starting to notice a pattern in what I write about in my journal and morning pages. There are two recurring themes: fixing mistakes and second chances

These themes are the working title, too. 

Chapters include: Dogs, Work, Men, Plans, Endurance Training, Friends, Travel and most importantly and most likely the most cathartic to write: Family. 

One thing that will be woven through all these chapters is the idea that we are all so scared. We (and I mean me) are scared to accept new responsibilities, to get our hearts broken (again), that we will lose our job, that a plan falls through that you had your heart set on, that you aren’t good enough or strong enough to finish a big race. And when it comes to family, people you know so well, well, they are more scared than you are. I thought my family had it all together. They are all just as scared as everyone else.

Families are hard, hard, hard. Anne Lamott

I have so much material to make people laugh, cry, shake their heads in agreement – and mostly just to remember the good things in life we sometimes forget about. 

See – the thing is – I screw up. A lot. I’m impulsive. I’m impatient. I worry. I’m worst-case-scenario girl. But despite all the screws ups, I also try to fix them. I’m not afraid to say sorry. Sometimes I get second chances. Second chances are the BEST! These are the stories I want to tell.

And so it begins …..

The World is Going Crazy

The economy is plummeting and we are afraid. Afraid of losing our jobs, our homes, our family and more. 

I’m trying not to panic. I’m trying to stay calm. 

I just adopted a dog. I’m only thinking of her, Winnie, my job, my parents, and lastly – training. 

Anne Lamott, my favorite, favorite writer and muse, writes on Facebook today, a repurposed post

“So where do we find grace and light? If you mean right now, try some radical self-care: friendly self-talk, a cup of tea.”

“So how do we shelter in place in the midst of fear and fear? We stick together in our anxiety and cluelessness. We reach out for any help at all; we share any truth and encouragement and humor we come upon. We feed the poor and send money to people who are helping save children around the world. These are good responses. I am going to recommend that we do that today, and tomorrow.”

“Tom Weston taught me decades ago that in the face of human tragedy, we go around the neighborhood and pick up litter, even though there will be more tomorrow. It is another blessed sacraments.”

Today, I will walk to the park across the street and pick up poop. All the poop that appeared when the snow melted. Thanks Anne.

I’m going to work hard. 

I’m going to run.

And I’m going to call my mom.

Hugging your dog helps too.

Failure, Being Daring, The Call to Courage

I’m watching The Call to Courage. One of the first stories Brene Brown tells is how she discovered the above quote from Teddy Roosevelt while obsessing about her TedTalk comments on YouTube. 

She is so awesome. It was perfect timing to watch this documentary since 1) I didn’t quite hit my training miles and 2) life is kicking me in the butt.

What I learned from watching her talk: 

  •  I’m going to show up, take chances and fail – a lot. 
  • “When you choose to live in the arena you are going to get your ass kicked.” Brene Brown
  • Fall, failure, heartbreak – it’s a choice you make every day.
  • If you are brave with your life you will fail. 
  • Vulnerability – the courage to show up when you don’t know what the outcome will be. 
  • Show Up – Be Brave

I’m going to keep showing up in life and training. I’m going to continue to take chances; and try to be vulnerable.