Why I Must Travel, Finding Home

I bought a few plane tickets and booked a couple car rentals this week. I can’t remember when I’ve felt so excited. Well, at least in the last year. 

See, the last year has been filled with moving plans, buying furniture, adopting a dog, buying a house and starting a new job. 

While all of these things are exciting in context, at my age they have produced unwanted  anxiety to the level that I’ve never felt before; although all self-inflicted. While anxious, travel and and seeing new places is the last thing on my mind. 

However, as things have settled down, one of the things that makes me want to travel is reading. After a period of stress and watching too much television, I have a thought about a book. I find a book on my bookshelf, or in a random online search and I’m suddenly reading for hours – I’m back to the self I like. 

The reading frenzy started with Thomas Wolfe and Look Homeward, Angel; a book I read 20 years ago and fell in love with. I live 90 minutes from the setting of the book and where Wolfe grew up. I drove over to Asheville and walked around Old Kentucky Home. 

I started reading his biographies and literary scholarship. I fell in love with him again. But reading Wolfe has led me back to my favorite author, Wallace Stegner. Reading Stegner makes me want to travel west, and so I booked my flight to Phoenix and can’t wait to see the desert, Grand Canyon and Tucson. 

Right now, I’m on a reading frenzy. I have books lined up: The Secret Knowledge of Water, Following Esabella, Dakota, Marking the Sparrow’s Fall and more. 

I’ve also started listening to audiobooks while driving. This was suggested to me by my friend Missy. I’ve mostly listened to music while driving all over East Tennessee. I live in the country so it’s a 15 minute drive minimum to anywhere I want to go except for the grocery store which is two miles down the road. YAY. I’m listening to Big Rock Candy Mountain by Wallace Stegner. Next up: Angle of Repose. I didn’t think I’d be able to concentrate on the words while driving but I can now lose myself in his descriptions of the midwest and west, his characters and their lives. 

Reading and traveling make me question everything, and that is always good for me. It makes me reevaluate my choices and where I live. I live in the south and after one year, I truly like living here and enjoy learning about this region. I’m reading books about its history, about Great Smoky Mountains National Park and nonfiction from local writers. 

As much as I like living here, and feel at home here, it’s always been a pattern of my thinking that I need to go away from a place, even if it’s just for a few days, to really appreciate it. I need that distance to think about my feelings towards a place I chose. Yes, I like living here but why do I really like it? One of the hard things to get used to living in East Tennessee is how far west in the eastern time zone it is; it is so dark in the morning. Right now, the sunrise is at 6:45 am and can’t walk dogs or run in pitch black for safety; from wildlife or crazy people.  

Distance helps me sort out complicated feelings of home, place and choices. In the last 25 years, home has always been where my dogs are. Could this be my forever home, a place I own and where all my stuff is? 

I’ve been told that if you don’t own a home you are considered homeless by the government. All these years I’ve been homeless while searching for my forever place. So there is this to think about while traveling and walking around the desert. 

I do know that as soon as I start writing packing lists and preparing dogs for the kennel my travel anxiety will begin. As much as I love being away from home, or the place I live, I will miss it and can’t wait to get back home again.

Summer in the Smokies

Now that I’ve lived in Tennessee for just about a year, I’m finally settling in and it’s feeling more and more like home. 

I started biking again and my running is lagging behind. It’s been a strange few months. 

Typical for me, as I approach trail running season my motivation to run lessens. I just can’t get in the groove to train for a 100. Maybe 100 is just not in the cards for me.

However, biking is going well. I am nervous biking on these roads since they have no shoulder and they are very windy. The roads here are well maintained but sketchy to bike on. It’s kind of my thing to discover new places running and biking; and that is what I’ve been doing the last few weeks. 

I’ve always hated driving somewhere to run or bike. I just want to run and bike from my house. This week I looked at the map and discovered a loop. And this loop has some hills. 

The loop is really beautiful and scenic. I pass farms and green trees and homes. Two loops and just over 1,000 feet of climbing. 

Now I just need to get brave and bike on the Old Newport Highway which has a big shoulder but a lot of debris. 

I am loving the beautiful flowers popping up at my house. I moved into the house in February so it was a  bit drab. And as annoyed as I am with all the problems with the house to fix, I’m pleasantly surprised at the perennials the prior owner planted. Now I just need to buy a lawn mower.

All three dogs are good and having fun. There is river access about five miles from the house so we are swimming regularly. I just love these guys:

Now I’m off to go hike in the park. Happy Summer!

Full On Spring in Tennessee, Training Update

I’ve been comparing this year to 2019; a lot. 

2019 was my Golden Year, my dreams-come-true year. The Year that I accomplished so much, worked hard and realized a few things.

My Mantra for 2019 was: take  each adventure as it comes and be open to all possibilities. 

I need to remember this.

Reading through my 2019 journals I had dark days and great days. I was training, working hard and realizing some goals. 

In 2023, I have accomplished non-athletic goals and am trying to come to terms with aging, menopause and homeownership. All very difficult and similar to chasing an athletic goal. It’s about mindset but mindset training is very hard. 

But at the end of the day, I’m an athlete. I love to be outside. I love having dogs. I’m always looking toward the future, figuring out who I want to be and where I want to live. 

I still think I can do everything; and it still frustrates me when I can’t. 

The question isn’t can I have it all, the question is, what do I want that I can still have.

One thing missing in my life, which I’ve always had in every place I lived, is a Go-To place to walk with my dogs. I don’t have this right now. I have a fenced-in yard which is nice, but not a woodsy place to go. I have to drive 10 minutes to go anywhere. This is what I have to work on.

“For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. Jeremiah 29:11

This month I said goodbye to my Subaru. It has been across the country twice, Colorado to Arizona twice. It got me to Tennessee safely and never let me down. 181,935 miles. You were a good car.

Spring in the Smokies, adopting dogs, running

Kassandra visited last weekend and we had an excellent time seeing all the sights: Great Smoky Mountains National Park, SkyLift Park, breakfast at 5 Oaks Farm, the knife shop and Harrisburg Covered Bridge. 

An added bonus, she got to meet Chet, my adopted pup. 

Getting Chet was a bit of an adjustment. I’ve been wanting a third dog for a year and now that I have the perfect house with a yard, I couldn’t wait any longer when the perfect black lab mix appeared at the Sevier County Humane Society where I walk shelter dogs on the weekend. 

Chet has been here almost two weeks and all his puppy traits are still on display: puppy belly, chasing Goldie around the house, endless energy and squishy skin. I love him. 

The trees and flowers are all in bloom and it is gorgeous here. The down side, Winnie-dog is itching and scratching like crazy, poor girl.

Now it’s time to get back to what I do: running, training, signing up for races. It’s a little late for the race coming next weekend but I’m still going to the UROCK race. It will be great fun to see the Blue Ridge Parkway and explore the south a bit. Once I’m back it’s getting ready for summer racing. 

The weather has been perfect in the 60s and 70s. We had a few 80 degree days but mostly 60s and in the high 40s in the morning. I’m heading out on a hike in the park this morning to check off a few more miles on my 900 miles in GSMNP challenge. Hopefully we will not run into any bears.

November, My Favorite Month in Tennessee

November did turn out to be the best month in Tennessee as I predicted in my earlier post

I really like hiking when you can see the landscape around you, and see what is coming around the turns in the trail. I hiked/ran the Cove Mountain trail a few times and got farther each time. Next week when I have a 18 mile run I should be able to get to the top. It’s steepest at the beginning at the waterfall and is gentle the next five miles. I like being able to see Ober Gatlinburg and all the peaks in the park.

Laurel Falls with Melani

I had time to reflect and write, and my next book is coming along. 

I walked dogs at the Sevier County Humane Society. It’s good to walk shelter dogs but I have to admit I tried to figure out ways to adopt the ones I fell in love with. But the reality of it, two dogs is all I can handle right now. I prayed a lot for the dogs and cats to find forever, kind homes. I was so happy to see Facebook posts of the adopted ones. There are so many sad stories, but there are happy ones, too. I try to keep thinking of the happy ones.

Please adopt Maddie – she is a good, loving girl.

Please, please please adopt a shelter dog. This beautiful girl has been at the shelter for 2 months and she is a joy, and a lover. She just wants to be loved. 


Full on training for my 2023 events is happening. I’ve been sticking to my training plan and doing the miles. I follow so many runners and motivational accounts on social media and the one thing that I’m learning, and finding out to be true, ultra running is about grit and consistency. 

What is Grit? A combination of passion and perseverance for a singularly important goal. It is the hallmark of high achievers. It is passion and sustained persistence applied toward long-term achievement, with no particular concern for rewards or recognition along the way. It combines resilience, ambition, and self-control in the pursuit of goals that take months, years, or even decades.

I’m going to keep this concept of grit in my mind and do everything to finish Leadville 100. 

Now on to December. I think it’s going to be a good month. Work. Train. Dogs. Walking shelter dogs. Celebrate the season with gratitude and love.