Failure, Being Daring, The Call to Courage

I’m watching The Call to Courage. One of the first stories Brene Brown tells is how she discovered the above quote from Teddy Roosevelt while obsessing about her TedTalk comments on YouTube. 

She is so awesome. It was perfect timing to watch this documentary since 1) I didn’t quite hit my training miles and 2) life is kicking me in the butt.

What I learned from watching her talk: 

  •  I’m going to show up, take chances and fail – a lot. 
  • “When you choose to live in the arena you are going to get your ass kicked.” Brene Brown
  • Fall, failure, heartbreak – it’s a choice you make every day.
  • If you are brave with your life you will fail. 
  • Vulnerability – the courage to show up when you don’t know what the outcome will be. 
  • Show Up – Be Brave

I’m going to keep showing up in life and training. I’m going to continue to take chances; and try to be vulnerable.

The Passion Paradox, Run 33 Miles

Another Saturday morning and it’s time to head out on a long run. Today I must run 33 miles. It’s cold outside; about 4 degrees. I’m procrastinating. I’m drinking coffee and refreshing weather.com every five minutes. I will run all  33 miles today. Not only do I have to, I want to.

However, the caveat, the but, the …… I’m not going to be able to do it all at once. And, I’m okay with that. 

Today I will do a few trail miles with Winnie-dog. Then I will run until I need to meet my friend for a walk and dinner. Then I will finish the miles later in the evening. I will get all my miles in. 

As I wait, I start reading the book that I bought: The Passion Paradox by Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness. I’ve read book reviews and excerpts, and a ton of articles by Stulberg, and I follow him on Twitter. I kept writing down lines I liked and referencing his articles, so I decided it was time to buy the book, and their other book, Peak Performance. [Peak Performance hasn’t arrived yet.]

What I like about the book is how they use science and philosophy to talk about the dark side of passion and then suggest tools to help find a balance. Passion can help you be successful but it also can break you, they write.

I’m on Chapter 1: Passion Must Be Handled With Care. 

I can’t wait to keep reading because I have big goals this year. I always have big goals. And I always go through dark times and feel lost because I can’t get training in or I sleep in or make bad life decisions. I know that I don’t push myself hard enough some days and some days I overdo it. [I seem to only remember that I don’t push myself hard enough.] 

Trying to balance big goals and still wake up in the morning to get things done can be difficult but I wouldn’t want it any other way.

This is a quote I’ve kept on my phone from over five years ago; I’ve always felt this to be true.

One of the lines at the beginning of The Passion Paradox states: People who are passionate about their lives and put “tremendous passion into everything they do” cannot be content. And, alas, this is my problem – I’m never satisfied, I always want more. I can finish a race, whether it is an Ironman or 50 miler, regardless of the challenge, after I cross the finish line I ask myself –  What’s Next? 

Maybe this is healthy, maybe it’s not. I’ll find out as I continue reading. 

Okay, now it’s time to get outside and RUN. It’s now 19 degrees!!

Low motivation, I’m in a rut

Okay, so I’m in a training rut. This week was high volume and I failed miserably. 

The Good: I continued to weight train and ran low mile days. I dropped off my new Cervelo Tri bike to get put together. I hiked with Winnie. Work was good all week. 

The Bad: Not being able to wake up at 5am every morning and get shit done. Low energy at night. Not doing the training on Wednesday and Thursday. Low motivation. Running all miles on a treadmill.

But today I’m turning it around. 

Recovery Week, 100 Mile Training

This week is a recovery week – thank goodness!

There are 10 weeks left of this training plan and then I run Umstead 100. This means that this week is a recovery week with 36 total miles. Last week was a disappointing training week; I didn’t do everything I was supposed to do. 

I found my Leadville Training log from last year and compared where I am today. 

Last year:  Planned was 65 miles. Actual was 23.6 miles.
This year:  Planned was 65 miles. Actual was 40.5 miles.

This year I’m doing much better but I really need to do the miles the training plan states.

Other things different this year: weights and core are making me more tired and grumpy every day. I also recorded hiking miles as total miles last year which I’m not doing this year.

Since I write these posts mainly for myself, because just writing and posting to the world is cathartic, I know what I need to do to be successful at a 100 mile race. I know I need to do the work every day. But here’s the thing: I don’t really enjoy race day all that much.
I love the process.
I love the daily goal attainment.
I love the planning.
I love the travel to places I’ve never been.
I love the people I meet along the way. 
These are the things I love about being an endurance athlete.

The races and adventures I sign up for keep me motivated to have an amazing life, every day. While today is a super low, unmotivated, feeling sorry for myself kind of day, I know that a few words I read or listen to will turn it around in a heartbeat. I look at my new tri bike still in pieces in the other room and I know as soon as it’s put together, and we have a warm day, I am going to be so happy to be riding it. I look at my race calendar of seemingly impossible races, all too close together, and I still know that I can do it all. I was told last week that I’m absurdly confident. Yep. That’s me. 

Here’s my next four weeks. Just writing this post and reading it often will make me do it all. I’ll report back at the end of it.

Come on Monday.!

100 Mile Planning, Execution

This week marks 11 weeks until race day.

This week I am planning to run 65 miles. I didn’t run Tuesday and Thursday so I’m a bit behind. However, today, I will run 12. Saturday 28. Sunday 15. It’s not ideal but it’s what happened.

As the miles start to add up I know that I have to work harder on the mental aspect of training. I also know that I need to do more cross training. I know that biking helped me feel strong finishing the Leadville Marathon last year and not biking prior to the Leadville 100 was a factor in the DNF. I will not make that mistake again.

I’m adding two cycling sessions and at least one swim each week; starting next week.

Everything is falling into place for increasing training volume and being injury free. I’m spending three days a week in the weight room, doing core work, foam rolling and massage. I just need to stay consistent, do the work and recover.