It’s been a crazy few weeks where I’m trying to figure out what I’m suppose to be.
Am I an ultra runner?
Well I ran today and back on a training plan.
Dog lover?
I’m taking care of my dogs and wanting a third dog so my young pup has a playmate.
Worker bee?
I love where I work and that is always a good thing for me.
Friend?
Kassandra is visiting in a few weeks and I have a bunch of things to do such as buying a bed for the spare room. I can’t wait to see her and show her my place.
Kassandra at Nubble Light in Maine from her trip first trip to visit me.
Hiker?
Now that I don’t live in Gatlinburg it’s tough to hike in the park. Ugh the traffic but I have to get in the park and hike/run to get ready for my ultra running season.
It’s been such a transition this last 45 days and I’m finally figuring everything out.
Here are the things that make me happy and know I’m going to get through everything to meet training goals, have fun, do what I say I will do and explore the world.
Side eyeTongue out Why is my cushion shaped weird this is whySun worshipping
After weeks of lackluster training and so much stress of homeownership, I sit and watch a random show that pops up. It’s the Meredith Grey last day episode. I just love the monologues of this show.
When I moved to Tennessee in July last year, I needed a great show to watch to relax at night to take my mind off the bears around the rental house and steep windy roads that I drove to get away from the rental house. I surely thought I would plunge my car off one of these roads and no one would find me for days. But I digress ..
In July I watched an episode, and Meredith Grey’s monologue hit me like a ton of bricks. I was making so many changes; and at times doubted everything. I posted this on Facebook:
The monologue from July.
Now, here I am, again, trying to relax after stupid homeowner stuff is stressing me out. I watch this random epidode and it hits me. My life is what I made it. And while, I wish I had someone in my life to help me figure out the well, the septic tank (I live in the country, man), how to hang curtains and bathroom hardware, how to landscape a yard that I think is infested with weeds, and how to get weird smells out of carpet when you can’t open the windows because the prior owner puttied them shut (I ordered new windows and with the supply chain problem I’ll get them in 2025).
I’m trying to figure out all this stuff, while training for ultras, taking care of dogs and trying to figure out if I can adopt a third dog, and working hard to do great things at my workplace. Trying to figure all this out is hard stuff. I’m feeling sorry for myself.
Then I hear this from Grey’s Anatomy. [Isn’t it amazing how words can transform your thoughts?]
I’ve been through broken bones and a broken home. And the death of people I love but I’m still here.
I never chose the safety of what was known when there was the possibility of more to be discovered.
I’ve had adventures that most people only dream about.
And I’ve had loses that I still dream about.
And if there is one thing I’ve learned in all my adventures, it’s that there’s no such thing as a life lived happily ever after.
Unless the happily means simply that we’re still alive. That the sun is rising on another day. Because with every sunrise comes the possibility of happiness. And also the possibility of heartache.
And sometimes it’s all rolled up together.
I came to understand as a very young child that when the imagination is limitless, life’s possibilities are endless. But I learned that the hard way.
I learned it through yearning and frustration and ache and longing. And sometimes desperation for a different life from the one I was living. I learned to stretch my imagination and spread my wings. And to allow for all the options life had to offer. Not only the ones I could see with my eyes. I stretched for the ones I could feel with my heart.
As long as the sun rises on your life, there will be new dragons to slay.
The end of my story is not any kind of ever after because I’m still alive. I’m still here.
And the sun still rises on my life.
The Sun Still Rises On My Life.
Keep training. Keep adopting dogs. Keep doing a great job at work, life and friendship. That is what I’m thinking tonight.
I haven’t written a post for a while; it’s been crazy. Working, training, dogs and buying a house. All contributed to a lack of writing.
Here’s the updated plan on completed races and what’s next:
I didn’t run for one week last week and this week has been a tough one too. Buying a house was the most stressful thing since moving to Tennessee. There was so much to do and I didn’t make time for running. There is still so much to do; it’s a bit overwhelming.
However, despite everything, training, racing and traveling is full steam ahead.
Race Report Houston Marathon:
It was a fun time to be in Houston. The weather was perfect and it was so good to connect with Mark, Brian and Shelly. It was nice to get out of town for the first time since moving to Tennessee. I was glad to finish and have a great meal with friends.
At the Houston Marathon Finish Line 2023.
Race Report Roaring Gap
My new friend Christal agree to join me on this adventure east to the mountains of North Carolina. The Roaring Gap race is touted as a tough trail run. It was no joke. The 50K is four loops and at the end of the day we did one loop plus a few miles when I took a wrong turn.
The trail is up, over and around Stone Mountain with gorgeous waterfalls and vistas. It was 100% worth the trip (3.5 hours in the car) to experience this place. Thank you to Christal who drove most of it.
I think we both agreed we don’t need to go back to this race, but then again, four loops may be calling us in the future.
Like I always say: everything is good, hard, fun, difficult, complicated. I am alway pleasantly surprised by the good people who come into my life and make it so much better.
2023 is going to be an epic year of training, racing and traveling.
I like having big goals and big dreams. But they also completely stress me out. I have moments of pure panic that it’s never going to work, that everything is going to come crashing down, and I’ll never make it to many of these starting lines. However, I can rationalize that it’s just one step at a time and I have to do the work to get to the starting line. But having big, scary goals is part of my DNA.
This is one of my favorite Reels: “Someone asked me how I managed my nerves and I said I don’t. I just do things scared.” Pretty much my life.
I do have moments when I stop and take a high level look at this plan for 2023, and realize – this is how I want to spend my life. I want to push my limits and see new places. I want to be outside running and hiking. I want to meet my friends in cool mountain towns and run races. I’m going to do it all scared.
So there it is. 2023 in a nutshell. See you on the trails.
Here are the things that have made me so happy this week. As my friends know, I’m not into the holidays but I love holiday cheer; and year-round cheer.
#1: People adopting dogs from a shelter
This week at the Sevier County Humane Society shelter my favorite dogs were adopted. People were also waiting in line to adopt the cute puppies that were available. There are so many more dogs and cats that need homes in Sevier County, and in your county. Please adopt and don’t shop.
This cutey is available to adopt.
#2 Great weather for winter activities.
I sure do miss skiing but the weather in Gatlinburg has been great for trail running; sunny and cool. I have no excuses not to get the training miles in. The Houston Marathon is four weeks away and I’ll be ready.
My new Altras for the race.
Twenty weeks until Leadville 100. I’m happy to be surrounded by mountains for great training opportunities.
Saturday’s Trail Run: Gatlinburg Trail to Old Sugarland Trail to Cherokee Nature Trail. 10 miles, 1,500 elevation gain.
#3 Friends who visit.
Mark is visiting during Christmas. He is my first visitor and I’m so excited to show him my new place.
Me and Mark
We will do all the touristy things like SkyLift Park, Great Smoky National Park, drink moonshine and eat ice cream. And we even get to do a 20 mile training run together. It’s going to be cold so he may be in a bit of shock. But hey – it’s the mountains.
I know it’s only three things. But these three things are the best. Merry Christmas.
