Amid the crisis and hunkering down, I decided that I will start writing my second book. I’ve been procrastinating writing it. I’ve started a million times, with twenty different titles and topics. Fiction or Nonfiction. I have had so many starts and stops. I have so many half completed essays and chapters.
For over 20 years I’ve been journaling and I write almost every day. I’ve been starting to notice a pattern in what I write about in my journal and morning pages. There are two recurring themes: fixing mistakes and second chances.
These themes are the working title, too.
Chapters include: Dogs, Work, Men, Plans, Endurance Training, Friends, Travel and most importantly and most likely the most cathartic to write: Family.
One thing that will be woven through all these chapters is the idea that we are all so scared. We (and I mean me) are scared to accept new responsibilities, to get our hearts broken (again), that we will lose our job, that a plan falls through that you had your heart set on, that you aren’t good enough or strong enough to finish a big race. And when it comes to family, people you know so well, well, they are more scared than you are. I thought my family had it all together. They are all just as scared as everyone else.
Families are hard, hard, hard. Anne Lamott
I have so much material to make people laugh, cry, shake their heads in agreement – and mostly just to remember the good things in life we sometimes forget about.
See – the thing is – I screw up. A lot. I’m impulsive. I’m impatient. I worry. I’m worst-case-scenario girl. But despite all the screws ups, I also try to fix them. I’m not afraid to say sorry. Sometimes I get second chances. Second chances are the BEST! These are the stories I want to tell.
“So where do we find grace and light? If you mean right now, try some radical self-care: friendly self-talk, a cup of tea.”
“So how do we shelter in place in the midst of fear and fear? We stick together in our anxiety and cluelessness. We reach out for any help at all; we share any truth and encouragement and humor we come upon. We feed the poor and send money to people who are helping save children around the world. These are good responses. I am going to recommend that we do that today, and tomorrow.”
“Tom Weston taught me decades ago that in the face of human tragedy, we go around the neighborhood and pick up litter, even though there will be more tomorrow. It is another blessed sacraments.”
Today, I will walk to the park across the street and pick up poop. All the poop that appeared when the snow melted. Thanks Anne.
I heard about axe throwing when an endurance athlete I follow on Instagram was doing it with her party guest after a race weekend. I thought… weird. But when Tom said, Hey, we should throw axes, I said, sure. Last week was an urban rock climbing adventure, this week urban axe throwing at RELAX. The real questions : Will all this help me train for 100?
Tom
I searched on Google and found some good articles.
While I woke up a little sore, I don’t think it’s going to help me finish a 100 mile race but it was fun and l laughed a lot. So – Win!
I’ve discovered over the last few weeks that I’m a wee bit addicted to weight training. A few days I choose getting my weights in instead of running. This is not great; but that is what happened. These are my favorites.
I still can’t do an unassisted pull up, but I’m getting there.
Step ups with weights – sweaty, take your breath away workout.
And my all time favorite – dead lift with a hex bar. Boy do I feel strong after 3 reps with this babe.
I keep adding a little more weight every other week. By the end of my hour I’m sweating bullets and feel pumped up. Fun!
I love this quote from Charlotte Bronte. I had this quote on my refrigerator in almost all the houses I’ve lived in the last ten years. It reminds me that I need to keep trying, keep searching to find the best people, the best places, and to not give up or settle for second best in anything I do.
Last year was good but this year it going to be epic. 100 miles. 3-Day Stage Race. Ironman. 4,000 Footers.
Inspired by Rob Azevedo’s article in Sunday’s Concord Monitor, where he reflected on his 2019 calendar/planner and important (and not so important) items recorded in it, I wanted to write about my 2019. I wanted to remember important events by month.
I’m in a bit of a funk the last few days, which is typical for me this time of year. Even after registering for all my 2020 events, buying a new tri bike and finally getting back to a solid training plan after being injured, I’m in a funk.
I’m hopeful that by the end of writing this post about 2019, which was a pretty awesome year for me personally and professionally, that I will turn this funk around and be joyful like I am about 90 percent of the time. Here it goes.
January
I got into the freaking Leadville 100 race via the lottery so winter training kicked in. I ran outside in all kinds of weather and conditions: snow, sleet and freezing rain. I completed my first Winter Warrior where I ran or walked five miles, outside every day in January.
February
Training, Training and more Training. In the cold.
March
Some injuries while my training miles increase.
April Finished the TARC 50K in Massachusetts so I’m officially an ultra runner again.
May
I ran the mountainous, Peak Bloodroot Ultra, a 30 miler in Vermont and finished as second female. I made a new friend who is also running Leadville. At the end of the month I finished my first ever 50 miler at Pineland. Wow – May was pretty freaking awesome!
June
I traveled to Maryland to support Mark at Ironman 70.3 Eagleman. I am not inspired to triathlon but was inspired by the athletes. I also traveled to Colorado to run the Leadville Marathon. I learned so much about running at altitude and what not to eat the night before a race. You’d think it was my first marathon, it wasn’t, but I didn’t eat an ideal dinner the night before and paid for it on the trail.
Lesson Learned in 2019 #1: as an athlete you are always learning.
July
Hiked Mount Washington for the first time in 20 years. I was in great shape and it was pretty easy. Spent a weekend in Colorado and ran/hiked Pikes Peak. It was a great training day. I also finished my first (because it certainly won’t be my last) Pemi Loop in the White Mountains.
August
Owl’s Head Summit
First off road triathlon in a very long time, Top of the Notch Tri. I will do that again. Finished my 4,000 footers in New Hampshire by hiking to Owl’s Head. Although in hindsight doing this 17 mile long hike the week before Leadville may not have been the best decision I’ve ever made.
Leadville 100 – My A Race – My Big Goal – a big DNF. But it truly was a grand adventure and changed me in so many ways. It reminded me that I’m not going to accomplish everything despite having success in races 1, 2, 3 and 4 leading up to race 5. It put my ego in check and made me rethink how I approached every detail of my training. I know everything I did wrong and I’m ready to not make the same mistakes. While I’m not trying for Leadville 100 in 2020, I will finish a 100 mile race.
Lesson Learned in 2019 #2: When you don’t do the training plan four weeks leading up to the race, you will fail.
October:
Hawaii Ironman World Championship with Mark and his Crew. I watched the best athletes in the world compete on the Big Island. While there, I didn’t have any desire to race Kona. I was inspired by the pros and age groupers, but didn’t think – Man, I’d love to train and qualify for Kona. Although as I write this, and being signed up for IM Mont Tremblant in 2020, maybe I feel that desire a little bit today. Kassandra visited and we ran the half marathon in Norwich, Vermont. I’m so glad she came to visit.
November and December I hiked in the mountains a lot with Winnie-dog. I’m much more comfortable hiking in snow and winter conditions now. I love being on the trails in the White Mountain and hiking at 4,000 feet, especially in the winter. I have the confidence to go above treeline and on New Years Day am planning a hike to at least one Presidential Peak.
My 2019 Dream Year was pretty good. My goals were to race TARC 50K, Blood Root 30M, Pineland 50M, Leadville Marathon and Leadville 100. 4 out 5 is pretty darn good!
I wanted to run/hike 2,000 miles and actually completed 2192 miles in 2019.
It was a very good year. And when I actually take the time to reflect and write about it I am so happy, so blessed and so grateful. Despite injuries, heartbreak and DNFs, 2019 was about 90 percent perfect.
My one goal for 2020 – finish a 100 mile running race.
