A blog about running, hiking, dogs and seeing the world
I was expecting it.
It’s not a shock.
The race is canceled, as I’m sure all spring races will be.
My training was going badly anyway.
I’m not sure I was even ready for the race.
But my true goal is to finish a 100 mile race in 2020.
There is time. There is always time.
I’m just going to write, walk my dogs, run, bike and work.
Amid the crisis and hunkering down, I decided that I will start writing my second book. I’ve been procrastinating writing it. I’ve started a million times, with twenty different titles and topics. Fiction or Nonfiction. I have had so many starts and stops. I have so many half completed essays and chapters.
For over 20 years I’ve been journaling and I write almost every day. I’ve been starting to notice a pattern in what I write about in my journal and morning pages. There are two recurring themes: fixing mistakes and second chances.
These themes are the working title, too.
Chapters include: Dogs, Work, Men, Plans, Endurance Training, Friends, Travel and most importantly and most likely the most cathartic to write: Family.
One thing that will be woven through all these chapters is the idea that we are all so scared. We (and I mean me) are scared to accept new responsibilities, to get our hearts broken (again), that we will lose our job, that a plan falls through that you had your heart set on, that you aren’t good enough or strong enough to finish a big race. And when it comes to family, people you know so well, well, they are more scared than you are. I thought my family had it all together. They are all just as scared as everyone else.
I have so much material to make people laugh, cry, shake their heads in agreement – and mostly just to remember the good things in life we sometimes forget about.
See – the thing is – I screw up. A lot. I’m impulsive. I’m impatient. I worry. I’m worst-case-scenario girl. But despite all the screws ups, I also try to fix them. I’m not afraid to say sorry. Sometimes I get second chances. Second chances are the BEST! These are the stories I want to tell.
The economy is plummeting and we are afraid. Afraid of losing our jobs, our homes, our family and more.
I’m trying not to panic. I’m trying to stay calm.
I just adopted a dog. I’m only thinking of her, Winnie, my job, my parents, and lastly – training.
Anne Lamott, my favorite, favorite writer and muse, writes on Facebook today, a repurposed post:
“So where do we find grace and light? If you mean right now, try some radical self-care: friendly self-talk, a cup of tea.”
“So how do we shelter in place in the midst of fear and fear? We stick together in our anxiety and cluelessness. We reach out for any help at all; we share any truth and encouragement and humor we come upon. We feed the poor and send money to people who are helping save children around the world. These are good responses. I am going to recommend that we do that today, and tomorrow.”
“Tom Weston taught me decades ago that in the face of human tragedy, we go around the neighborhood and pick up litter, even though there will be more tomorrow. It is another blessed sacraments.”
Today, I will walk to the park across the street and pick up poop. All the poop that appeared when the snow melted. Thanks Anne.
I’m going to work hard.
I’m going to run.
And I’m going to call my mom.
It was a gorgeous, sunny day to hike to Kearsarge with Kendra, Toby and Winnie.
The Winslow Trail was nice, at first. Then came the frozen waterfalls of ice. This was not a fun section for the dogs. But we got through it and made it to the top.
The top was windy with amazing 360 degree views.
Once we started heading down the Barlow Trail we got out of the wind and could really see Mount Washington and Moosilauke. The photo at the top is Kendra on the Barlow Trail looking north. Wow. Just Wow. We met amazing, kind people on the trail today; even two fathers toting their children in packs. Everyone was so happy to be outside on a such a sunny Sunday. I think Kendra will be hiking more in winter; for sure Toby loved being on the trail.
I’ll be heading back to Kearsarge and doing a few training laps during the week. It is such a hard, steep trail.The 3-Day Stage races is in about 23 weeks.
Being in the mountains just makes me feel more alive.
The 4 pillars or values of the YMCA: Respect, Responsibility, Honesty, Caring.
I’ve been staring at these values while swimming laps at YMCAs across the country since 1988. I started swimming in 1988 after graduating from high school and wanting to get in shape during the week to hike NH’s mountains on the weekends. I swam early mornings at the Portsmouth, NH YMCA pool for years. I remember the lifeguard and the “regulars” like it was yesterday; I’m so old!
Many years later, when I moved to Granby, Colorado I remember swimming and seeing the pillars, Respect, Responsibility, Honesty, Caring in front of me at the beginning of each lap while swimming at Snow Mountain Ranch YMCA. I look to my right, framed perfectly in the windows, the Rocky Mountains. It was great training swimming laps at 8,000 feet at Snow Mountain Ranch YMCA. I smile at the thought of those mountains.
When I lived in Tucson the YMCA pool was outside, and I don’t recall seeing the pillars posted anywhere. However, I do remember how wonderful the sun felt year-round on my body as I swam laps at their magnificent pool preparing for Ironman Texas and Wisconsin during the three years I lived there.
Now, I live in Concord, NH and as I kicked with fins I stared at the 4 pillars in front of me and it reminds me of all these places I’ve trained and all the truly wonderful places I’ve lived in. I’m blessed.
I haven’t swam in a few weeks and needed to get back into the pool since I need to 1) cross train for the ultras I’m running this year and 2) prepare for Ironman Mont Tremblant in 25 weeks.
Swimming just feels good. I’m starting out with 1,200 yards in 30 minutes doing all the strokes and using the kick board. I will gradually work in speed and endurance.
Training for ultra races and Ironman just make everything right in my world. Even with all the crap going on in the world, life is better when I can figure out 30 minutes in water.
Happy Monday. Make it great today. It’s all a crap shoot. It’s all just a crap shoot.
