Why I Must Travel, Finding Home

I bought a few plane tickets and booked a couple car rentals this week. I can’t remember when I’ve felt so excited. Well, at least in the last year. 

See, the last year has been filled with moving plans, buying furniture, adopting a dog, buying a house and starting a new job. 

While all of these things are exciting in context, at my age they have produced unwanted  anxiety to the level that I’ve never felt before; although all self-inflicted. While anxious, travel and and seeing new places is the last thing on my mind. 

However, as things have settled down, one of the things that makes me want to travel is reading. After a period of stress and watching too much television, I have a thought about a book. I find a book on my bookshelf, or in a random online search and I’m suddenly reading for hours – I’m back to the self I like. 

The reading frenzy started with Thomas Wolfe and Look Homeward, Angel; a book I read 20 years ago and fell in love with. I live 90 minutes from the setting of the book and where Wolfe grew up. I drove over to Asheville and walked around Old Kentucky Home. 

I started reading his biographies and literary scholarship. I fell in love with him again. But reading Wolfe has led me back to my favorite author, Wallace Stegner. Reading Stegner makes me want to travel west, and so I booked my flight to Phoenix and can’t wait to see the desert, Grand Canyon and Tucson. 

Right now, I’m on a reading frenzy. I have books lined up: The Secret Knowledge of Water, Following Esabella, Dakota, Marking the Sparrow’s Fall and more. 

I’ve also started listening to audiobooks while driving. This was suggested to me by my friend Missy. I’ve mostly listened to music while driving all over East Tennessee. I live in the country so it’s a 15 minute drive minimum to anywhere I want to go except for the grocery store which is two miles down the road. YAY. I’m listening to Big Rock Candy Mountain by Wallace Stegner. Next up: Angle of Repose. I didn’t think I’d be able to concentrate on the words while driving but I can now lose myself in his descriptions of the midwest and west, his characters and their lives. 

Reading and traveling make me question everything, and that is always good for me. It makes me reevaluate my choices and where I live. I live in the south and after one year, I truly like living here and enjoy learning about this region. I’m reading books about its history, about Great Smoky Mountains National Park and nonfiction from local writers. 

As much as I like living here, and feel at home here, it’s always been a pattern of my thinking that I need to go away from a place, even if it’s just for a few days, to really appreciate it. I need that distance to think about my feelings towards a place I chose. Yes, I like living here but why do I really like it? One of the hard things to get used to living in East Tennessee is how far west in the eastern time zone it is; it is so dark in the morning. Right now, the sunrise is at 6:45 am and can’t walk dogs or run in pitch black for safety; from wildlife or crazy people.  

Distance helps me sort out complicated feelings of home, place and choices. In the last 25 years, home has always been where my dogs are. Could this be my forever home, a place I own and where all my stuff is? 

I’ve been told that if you don’t own a home you are considered homeless by the government. All these years I’ve been homeless while searching for my forever place. So there is this to think about while traveling and walking around the desert. 

I do know that as soon as I start writing packing lists and preparing dogs for the kennel my travel anxiety will begin. As much as I love being away from home, or the place I live, I will miss it and can’t wait to get back home again.

Review of Murder at the Jumpoff

I like how the story includes chapters that take place in New Hampshire’s White Mountains. I also like how I found this book after hiking many of the trails in Greenbrier in GSMNP. I’ve  been on a lot of the trails in the book except for the manways. As I read the book I just kept thinking what a funny name to call the bushwhacking trails since I’ve always known them as organic trails; trails that the Forest Service despises in NH. I think it might be a Smokies thing.

I’m not a big murder mystery reader but the landscape of this  book held me close. I couldn’t put down the book. I really enjoyed how each chapter switched back and forth from each character’s perspective. I liked the characters especially Hatsy, Sally and Hector. 

Before and after reading the book I kept Googling the author, wanting to find out more about her. I wondered which character she was like; probably Hatsy. But I wondered why the author committed suicide? She had such an interesting life and lived in many different places, and was such a talented writer.  The mountains called her, and she moved around a lot. She travelled and lived in beautiful places like Colorado, New Hampshire and Vermont – all places I’ve lived and loved, primarily for their mountain landscapes. 

This book found me after I’d stopped hiking in the park for a bit, getting distracted by other life things.  I was frustrated that I couldn’t hike with dogs on trails, plus it was getting hot and humid. However, the last few weeks, every weekend I went to Greenbrier on a different trail. It was easy to get to – I didn’t have to drive through Gatlinburg on a weekend. And I was always on a time limit since I didn’t want my new pup to be in his crate for more than 5 hours. When I started reading the book, I wanted to hike more and get to know this park. 

I don’t have a desire, even after finishing the book to hike off trail – I like hiking and trail running on trails; this book was just a new perspective on the park. The characters in her book loved the challenges of the mountains and exploring the landscapes I love, too. 

In an interview the author said, “To me, off-trail hiking is a magical journey, a quest to discover incredible places that practically no one ever sees.”

I like reading books that take place somewhere I know. Scenes in this book took place in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, Sevierville and Knoxville. It allowed me to enjoy the book more that the story took place here. Plus, the final chapter takes places in the White Mountains and the scene is a mountain I know. 

Excellent book. Here is a link to a story about her and her death:

Jenny’s obituary

Summer in the Smokies

Now that I’ve lived in Tennessee for just about a year, I’m finally settling in and it’s feeling more and more like home. 

I started biking again and my running is lagging behind. It’s been a strange few months. 

Typical for me, as I approach trail running season my motivation to run lessens. I just can’t get in the groove to train for a 100. Maybe 100 is just not in the cards for me.

However, biking is going well. I am nervous biking on these roads since they have no shoulder and they are very windy. The roads here are well maintained but sketchy to bike on. It’s kind of my thing to discover new places running and biking; and that is what I’ve been doing the last few weeks. 

I’ve always hated driving somewhere to run or bike. I just want to run and bike from my house. This week I looked at the map and discovered a loop. And this loop has some hills. 

The loop is really beautiful and scenic. I pass farms and green trees and homes. Two loops and just over 1,000 feet of climbing. 

Now I just need to get brave and bike on the Old Newport Highway which has a big shoulder but a lot of debris. 

I am loving the beautiful flowers popping up at my house. I moved into the house in February so it was a  bit drab. And as annoyed as I am with all the problems with the house to fix, I’m pleasantly surprised at the perennials the prior owner planted. Now I just need to buy a lawn mower.

All three dogs are good and having fun. There is river access about five miles from the house so we are swimming regularly. I just love these guys:

Now I’m off to go hike in the park. Happy Summer!

Full On Spring in Tennessee, Training Update

I’ve been comparing this year to 2019; a lot. 

2019 was my Golden Year, my dreams-come-true year. The Year that I accomplished so much, worked hard and realized a few things.

My Mantra for 2019 was: take  each adventure as it comes and be open to all possibilities. 

I need to remember this.

Reading through my 2019 journals I had dark days and great days. I was training, working hard and realizing some goals. 

In 2023, I have accomplished non-athletic goals and am trying to come to terms with aging, menopause and homeownership. All very difficult and similar to chasing an athletic goal. It’s about mindset but mindset training is very hard. 

But at the end of the day, I’m an athlete. I love to be outside. I love having dogs. I’m always looking toward the future, figuring out who I want to be and where I want to live. 

I still think I can do everything; and it still frustrates me when I can’t. 

The question isn’t can I have it all, the question is, what do I want that I can still have.

One thing missing in my life, which I’ve always had in every place I lived, is a Go-To place to walk with my dogs. I don’t have this right now. I have a fenced-in yard which is nice, but not a woodsy place to go. I have to drive 10 minutes to go anywhere. This is what I have to work on.

“For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. Jeremiah 29:11

This month I said goodbye to my Subaru. It has been across the country twice, Colorado to Arizona twice. It got me to Tennessee safely and never let me down. 181,935 miles. You were a good car.

Trail running in the Blue Ridge Mountains Virginia

The trip to Virginia’s Blue Ridge Mountains was a great discovery trip. I didn’t want to leave the dogs and I certainly didn’t want to bring Chet to be kenneled after only having him two weeks. But I did it and headed north to Virginia to run a 25K trail run.

Mark flew to Knoxville and then on Friday we headed to Stuarts Draft, VA to stay in a cabin at Sun Retreats, the basecamp for the race.

When I signed up for UROCK it was December and I thought for sure my training was heading to the point that 60 miles was a good lead up to Leadville. However, moving wrecked havoc and motivation tanked. Adopting a dog prevented me from the routine that is needed to train properly.

We ran the 25K and had a great race. It was a beautiful course.

There were several river crossings.

Gorgeous trees.

This race gave me everything I needed to get my butt in gear to meet my training and racing goals for this year.

I’m ready to train seriously for Leadville 50 and 100. 

This past weekend gave me all the motivation to get to the park and run mountains, to get back to the me who loves training on trails. 

Thanks to my BFF Mark who made this all happen.

And, we visited Brother Bill and Lisa and got a tour of their amazing lake near Roanoke.