Antelope Canyon and finding your Why

I want to be successful at every race. I want to execute my plan and cross the finish line. I want to train correctly for each race. 

However, for Antelope Canyon I didn’t run on sand or in similar conditions. I executed my nutrition strategy but after 15 miles my legs were dead. Mentally I was done.  I continued to the next aid station and walked back to the start. 20 miles completed. Not 50.

I felt so different in the race compared to the 55K in December. I never got to the point of dead legs. Perhaps because I ran on similar terrain leading up to the race and I knew the course a little bit better.  Maybe I was a bit dehydrated from traveling and didn’t drink enough electrolytes. 

I do know I need to do more strength training. 

I do know I need to practice mental strength. 

At dinner after the race Mary, Kassandra, Stoddard and I talked about our “why”. What makes you keep going when you don’t want to? Mary suggested anger at people can help you get to the finish. I said my why is “it’s what I do”. But I don’t think that is going to work anymore. 

Here’s what I think my WHY needs to be right now:  

I want to run and finish races in places I’ve never been as a way to see the world. I want to have a smile on my face during most of the race. I want to be fit. I want to have a goal that I’m working towards every day. 

My goal for Antelope Canyon was to finish. And I didn’t. Sometimes it takes me two tries to finish a race on a new course. I’d like to think that this year is my year to cross the Leadville finish line (second attempt).

I have some work to do. 

The race weekend was fun despite not finishing. I met three friends in the desert and we shared stories and laughed. We caught up on what is going on in our lives and ate good food in Page, Arizona. The weather was fantastic: sunny blue skies all day long. I drove through beautiful northern Arizona with canyons and juniper trees and prickly pears. It was a great weekend of seeing new places, running in the slot canyons, seeing friends and being amazed at the world. I can’t wait to do it again.

Antelope Canyons, the second slot canyon on the course.

Two weeks to the Big Day

Today is an 18 mile run. I was supposed to do it yesterday but Monday was a big day at the mountain. And I got to ski for a bit since I hadn’t skied in weeks. Conditions were amazing and I got 8 runs in. It is always great to get out there and talk to people on the lifts. I always say I have the best job in the world and yesterday proves it, to me at least. 

Tiger Steeps, my favorite trail

But today and a big run. 

It is the first big run since getting sick and I have two weeks until the 50 miler. I looked back at my  training for my first 50 in 2019 and I had two 30 mile training runs before that race. I think that will be telling for my results this year. So many things are different so it’s tough to do a true comparison but I just want to get to Arizona, hang out with friends, and run on the Navajo land to experience the magic. 

Then once I get back it’s all about building more mileage, getting strong, skiing a bunch, winter hiking and being the mountain girl that I am.

Back to Normal: Eat, Sleep, Train, Work,

Everything is back to normal. I run, ski, work, walk dogs, eat, sleep, repeat. Skiing at Gunstock is amazing. All the trails are so fun and have great views of the lake. Lucky me I get to work there.

Last week temperatures were warm and then soon as I’m ready to run, it’s cold again. Yesterday and today I ran on the treadmill.

On the treadmill I always choose a trail run to watch. Lately it is a trail in Arizona with prickly pear, saguaros and mountains in the distance. I try to adjust the grade based on what is on the trail. It makes the miles go by.

Mileage is short as I get back at it. But you know…..

I actually miss the long Monday and Tuesday runs. I can’t wait to get back to it. The days when the long run just overtakes your day and you schedule nothing. It’s all about the long run. It’s hard and I am anxious about it, but I do enjoy it. Holy Cow: 3 weeks until Antelope Canyon and flying to the southwest.

Here’s Goldie, entertaining me with her antics.

And the hits keep coming

Out for the count.

5 days of no running and laying on the sofa.

Flu symptoms, negative COVID  test

I’m never sick.

Keeping me company on the sofa.

All my cold medicine expired since I haven’t been sick in years. 

I have no energy; just enough to barely walk the dogs. 

I read an entire book yesterday. Running Home by Katie Arnold. It was so good. She writes about her family, being a mom, an ultrarunner and writer. 

One of my favorite lines from the book when she is just about to finish a race: “I was running from the inside, from the certainty that anything is possible if you just keep going.” (pg 222)

And what I remember, and what is clear from her book about running: is that you get in a flow with your running and the world falls away. That is what I want with my running but it doesn’t seem to happen. 

She went on to win Leadville 100 in 2019 – the year I dropped out. 

She wrote an article for the New York Times shortly after winning the race. 

What I remember most about that article. Her ending line:

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/09/well/move/leadville-katie-arnold-ultramarathon-training-parenthood.html

Back to Back Runs – the story about a bust

Monday was supposed to be 28 miles.

Tuesday was supposed to be 18 miles. 

Actual: 19 and 11. UGH. 

None of these colors are good

Monday started at -3 degrees at 6am. I knew my only option was the treadmill to start. My gym closes at 10 so I was able to run on the treadmill for just under 2 hours then came home and ran outside. The air was brutal cold at 5 degrees. I just needed to finish a long slow. I had an appointment at 1:00. I almost never make a plan on a long run day, but I couldn’t avoid it. I told myself I would run until 12:30 and finish the remaining 7 miles after the appointment. After the run I didn’t have enough recovery food and rush to the meeting. Poor planning. I didn’t eat right or hydrate right. The meeting went longer than anticipated and I didn’t have enough in me to finish the remaining miles. I was done for the day. 

Monday. I woke up knowing I just needed to do the miles. Just do 18 miles no matter what. I needed to run outside and I knew it was going to warm up so I waited until 11 to start when it would be 20 degrees. I got caught up with work stuff and cleaning and suddenly 11 turned into Noon. I knew the first part of the run would be trails with a goal of 2,000 feet of elevation gain. I had the perfect route in mind. When I hit the trail it was like running in sand because the snow got too soft. I kept going, thinking of the route, and how good it was going to be to run in the snowy woods. The trial got harder and harder. I was fatigued from yesterday, which was the point of this run, but everything was coming unglued. My brain said go home, my legs said get off the trails. I got off the trail and did a hilly road loop back to my house to regroup. On the way, I just wanted to be done. I was miserable. And, I gave into my brain and stopped. 

This is all terrible. I want a do-over. I want to be better. I want to do everything I say I’m going to do. Today I want a chance to start over. 

Lessons Learned:

  • Plan food in advance: food for before, during and after the run.
  • Don’t make any plans on back-to-back run days.
  • Make a new playlist to stay motivated.
  • Regardless of weather, just run outside, damn it.